"It hurt to sit. It hurt to stand and it f**king hurt to do my job" - A story misdiagnoses, invalidation, and learning to accept the cards you are dealt with.

This whole journey began in 2015. It's weird thinking I didn't start off having any pain and now I have a chronic pain diagnosis but that's how it all began! In November 2015 I was on Oxford Street in London with my Dad and Stepmum. They were doing Christmas shopping and after being dizzy for a couple of weeks, that day I suddenly felt like the ground was dragging me down. You know that feeling of a gravitational pull when you get of out a lift? That! But it wasn't momentary. I thought I was going to faint and I had to go home. I got checked out and doctors said I was "fine" - something I got very used to hearing over the years I was still engaging with the medical system. Then a few weeks later I collapsed on my 31st Birthday mid way through a client's highlights and I was signed off from the hair salon for Christmas. This was a pivotal moment and kind of felt like the beginning of the end looking back.

More tests and medications subscribed for an inner ear problem (that didn't work because I didn't have an inner ear problem) and we are into January 2016. Even with a few weeks off, I couldn't stop collapsing at work. It was a scary time! It eventually resulted in being signed off for longer and so I went to stay with my mum for a bit. This is where the pain bit started and it has never ended. Even writing this now, I could never have imagined I would experience pain that did not go away for years. I don't suppose anyone imagines that will happen to them, but here we are! So I've always been fit & healthy. I love pilates, I was really good at it. My mum is an instructor! I went to one of her classes and turned my head to the right and BAM I got a debilitating headache that literally floored me (mum said I went white). It didn't go away for 2 months. Now I was really freaking out! The waiting lists to see specialists were months and months and also the NHS didn't want to change my referral from ENT to another specialism at this point. Even though my symptoms had changed. I was fearing the worst and we hear about these NHS horror stories of negligence so I self funded a scan with a private neurologist - he basically told me he could see a headache, prescribed me beta blockers (which I didn't take because I hate meds) and that was it. That was probably the most upset I've ever been about spending £800 on my health!

After doing some of my own digging I realized that the "migraine" I had been diagnosed with didn't really fit the criteria for migraine and was more like a cervicogenic headache. Considering I've always had a tight neck, I decided to self fund physio which actually did give me some relief. I'm going to fast forward a year of two moved appointments that I'd waited months for, all the while the pain spreading to down my spine and left side. It hurt to sit. It hurt to stand and it f**king hurt to do my job as a hairdresser but being self employed I felt I had no choice but to power through.

I was going back and forth from my GP to A&E with the symptoms and every time sent away being told there's nothing they can do. I was constantly in the chiropractors because I would do something in my job and my entire shoulder would get frozen up towards my earlobe. It was so stressful looking back, I didn't really know why my body was doing what it did and I didn't know how to help myself. The ENT appointment came and went with nothing to show for it - not shocking! Then, FINALLY!!! I got a Rheumatology appointment in early 2017. I felt like I was finally going to be seen by the right people and get some answers... I couldn't have been more wrong.

The past 15 months had been torture. Until you experience chronic symptoms and the reservations of the conventional medical system, it's hard to understand what people go through. You just imagine that you will go to the doctor and you will be fixed. I was in bits! I walked in to the appointment with the (male) specialist and he asked me "how are you doing" - considering I was doing the worst I'd ever been doing, I burst into tears. BIG MISTAKE!!! You must never show emotional weakness in front of a male doctor as I found out the hard way. He then asked me if I was married, if everything at home was alright and I knew where he was going. I'm obviously a highly strung woman with so much stress, I have caused a mystery set of symptoms. He asked me to describe my symptoms, I told him about my hypermobile joints and he told me that people are REALLY sick with that and I'm fine. He did a couple of the beighton score tests on me (you don't have to have all of those present to be hypermobile but that's another story for another day) and then said "I don't even need to look at you and I know what you have" "I think you know what I'm going to say" - I had literally no idea what he was going to say. Then he proclaimed "it's called Fibromyalgia."

I had never heard of it. He gave me a leaflet which I browsed over and honestly I thought it sounded like a lot of bullshit (no offence meant to anyone). I told him that I thought he had given me this diagnosis because I cried and he told me that I wouldn't like someone coming for a haircut telling me how to cut hair and that was the end of that. On that day I cried a lot and then I vowed I would not go back to the doctors. The last 15-16 months had been so shit and I couldn't take any more of it. The next two years or so were an existence. I tried as much as I could to get to the bottom of what was going on. I was basically paying to be able to work (make that make sense!) because I needed to be in the chiropractors so regularly. I did everything I should, I did corrective exercise and pilates. My body continued to shut down. Working hurt so much that after two years of daily struggle, I admitted defeat. I left the music industry to focus on hairdressing in my late 20s. I spent £1000s retraining and put countless hours of work - including after hours - to make it happen as a hairstylist. I was absolutely gutted. I felt like my body failed me. I hated myself and I hated everything. I completely left London at this point because I couldn't mentally (or physically) deal with starting again there.

I moved back in with my mum in Southampton and left a life of 18 years. I felt so lost. I did decide to go back to the doctor again to see if they could find anything structurally. At this point, the pain was so localised to one side of my body (and still is) that I thought there could be something behind it. I had more tests which didn't show anything so I gave up again! In 2019 I trained as a Pilates teacher and this was another turning point for me. I had so little confidence in myself and my body, I had to walk out of the training at several points to basically cry in a heap. I felt so bad about myself. I had this body I didn't even recognise. It was puffy and swollen, stiff and overweight. This was not me! I had never been like this! I ran 10K races, I was so fit!!! I decided I needed to do something about my weight. By 2020 my symptoms were brain fog, depression, IBS, unexplained weight gain, bloating after every meal, puffiness, dermatitis, joint pain, regular flares at 8 level, hormonal sweats and mid cycle bleeds. I was so fed up, I joined a programme for weight loss. I heard someone else with fibromyalgia recommend it and I just knew I needed it. This was the BEST point of my journey, 5 years after symptoms started.

I did this programme which was a gut health programme and it completely rid me of pretty much that whole list of symptoms. I legit cried happy tears of relief at the end of the 30 days. It changed my life in more ways than one. I wasn't pain free but it was manageable, it wasn't taking over all my thoughts. I couldn't believe that following some relatively simple diet changes made such a BIG difference and honestly I made it my mission to tell other women about gut health too. Fast forward four years and I have created my own Health Coaching business around it.

It has been the most amazing, rewarding and challenging experience. I started out helping people one to one and now I'm creating digital products so that I can help more women help themselves. There's still so much more I want to do! In 2021 I had one last crack at the conventional medical system after my left arm got stuck and wouldn't move above my shoulder - this time I was able to get a referral for golfers elbow. I had steroid injections and surgery - both of which didn't work. But do you know what? I was so happy to finally let that medical system go! I knew after those surgeries that it wasn't for me. I'm also not bothered if I'm misdiagnosed because the outcome is the same. I don't want lifelong medication and so now I'm doing my own thing holistically and working with practitioners. I've never felt better!

My story isn't over yet. I believe I can be pain free. I know other people that have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and they have put their symptoms into remission so I know it has to be possible for me too.

Learn more and support on TikTok @itscorinneshields