"I went from playing soccer and cheerleading, to being curled into a ball crying in pain..." - Amanda's story of dismissal, and searching for a root cause.
- Chronically Me
- 1 day ago
- 2 min read
My name is Amanda and I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis, sjogrens, and fibromyalgia.
Life knocked me down early. My chronic illness symptoms started at just 17 years old in the middle of my senior year of high school. I went from playing soccer and cheerleading, to being curled into a ball crying in pain.
My symptoms were very vague and only happened occasionally at first, until it became a daily struggle of joint pain, severe fatigue, muscle and bone pain, and a burning skin pain that happened when even the softest of things touched it.
I was dismissed a lot early on. Doctors would gaslight me that I was too young to have anything drastic wrong. I went from doctor to doctor, referral to referral, before finally finding a doctor who believed me. He prescribed me pain meds, and I developed an addiction that changed my life.
When the doctor stopped prescribing me the pain meds because of the growing addiction crisis in our country, I resorted to anything that would take my pain away. That meant buying pain pills on the streets, until pain pills turned to heroin.
The pain from my chronic illness was still there, but I became so numb that I didn’t care anymore. That was a dangerous place to be.
As the years went by, my choices led to more trauma that caused more chronic pain. It was a viscous circle that I couldn’t escape from.
When I finally did escape and got clean, only by Gods grace, I faced the realization that I could never use pain medication for my chronic illnesses. That led to my years long search of finding a doctor who focused on finding the root cause of my pain and tackling it from the inside out.
I’ve been blessed to find a very good doctor who makes me feel seen and heard. That’s what’s important when finding a rheumatologist. He knows what I can and can’t take, and works with me to help tackle the symptoms as they happen. Don't quit searching until you find that amazing doctor who sees you as more than a statistic.
Life at 34 is not what I expected it to be.
I’m divorced, because my chronic illness was too much for my husband to take.
I have two children that sometimes I can’t pick up.
I have steps in my apartment that I sometimes can’t use.
I have dishes in my sink that I sometimes can’t wash.
I have food in my cabinets that I sometimes can’t cook.
And I have toys all over the floor that I sometimes can’t clean up.
But I do have love.
Plenty of love.
Plenty of grace.
Plenty of hope.
And hope anchors the soul.
So, remember not to let the bad days win. Give your body some grace, because it’s doing the best it can.
I won’t lie and say it’s easy, but it’s possible. It’s hard, and my pain is deafening sometimes.
It’s not what I expected, but I’m living life to the best of my abilities.
And that’s really all you can do.
Clinical definitions will never capture the full weight of living with these conditions.
But we can.
Chronically Me.
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Support, connect, and learn more about Amanda's story here:
@amandapereira8349